Momisms

For Easter My mom and dad got me the cutest book.. it is called Momisms. I was sitting here with My morning coffee reading through it.... Here are some of them

Momisms
Cathy Hamilton

Just be yourself
Translation--
(For son) Be anyone but your father.
(For girl) Be just like Me!

Go out and play in traffic
Translation
"I have had enough of you for the day. Dont even think about coming back in until I am fully medicated."

"You have a cute figure"
Translation
"So you look like a stick... enjoy it while it lasts!"

"Pretty is as pretty does"
Translation
"Pull your skirt down, keep your legs together, get the hair out of your eyes,Stand up straight, Take your elbows off the table, Pick up your feet when you walk"

"Is that what you are going to wear?"
Translation
"I would not be caught dead in that and neither will you"

"What do you need, an engraved invitation? Sit down and eat!"
ADVICE
If you want to make moms day.... when she yells that dinner is ready, run to the table, licking your lips and yell..."Me first" If you can leave a family member on the floor in your wake... all the better

"Sure your brother has book smarts, but you have street smarts"
ADVICE
Moms should be careful when using this one. In explaining street smarts really means common sense. Not the natural ability to sell crack out of the front of the car.

"I am on strike"
Translation
Thank goodness these only last a few minutes. After moms guilt sets in. There have been instances of prolonged work stoppages by mothers who have walked out of their homes and manned picket lines in their own backyards. When this happens families would be well advised to negotiate a settlement before mom makes it to the six o clock news.